It is a very hard thing, to choose to end another living beings life. I think it is harder with a dog like Nina, who never did anything but love our family.
Before we had kids, she was my great protector. More than one strange man backed away slowly when Nina let him know that he was not welcome within leash range. I will never forget the Jehovah's witnesses who tried to concentrate on our conversation, but could only nervously stare at my chocolate dog, who was barely listening to my command of "down." Noticeably they watched her entire body twitch with anticipation of the second I freed them. She seemed to be calculating the distance to their jugulars.
When I was pregnant and cold, she spent countless hours cuddled with me on the couch. When I brought home my first born, she considered Elspeth her first born too. Howling at me whenever the baby cried, at one point standing over Elspeth in the bathroom doorway and barking at me to take care of this child. NOW!
She patiently let all children manhandle her ears, her tail, her nose. Letting the fascination all children have with dogs, work itself out as she endured countless pokes and tugs. More than one parent misinterpreted my anxiety when their child was around Nina as fear for their child. Really, I feared for Nina around children because she would never defend herself, she would not even get up and leave the room as our older, crankier dog will do.
In the end, I know the truth. That Nina would have laid her life down for mine. That she is the dog that would jump in front of a bullet, tackle a robber, deal with evil if it crossed the path of our family. Some dogs bark a lot, but Nina quietly stalked you. She sent a shiver up any unwanted visitor's spine, being simultaneously complete patience with us and absolutely a predator to outsiders.
She has been very sick for a very long time. We have known that the disease she had would eventually claim her life. We knew this, but making the call was more difficult that I expected. When do you know it is time.
In typical Nina fashion, she even made the call for us, giving up in the end so that it would be easier on us to say goodbye. Her final night, as we realized what we must do, we took turns sitting vigil by our amazing chocolate wonder dog.
It will be a long time before Jeremy and I won't miss the constant activity. Even with two children under 5, it feels calmer at our house without Nina. I wonder if the neighbors have noticed she is gone. She spent hour after hour stalking their house, staring at them with unblinking eyes in a menacing way. Just so she could howl the minute he stepped outside to smoke a cigarette, our own self-appointed anti-smoking coalition.
How do you say goodbye to such a dog?
One quieter day at a time.
Nina "Dingo Dog" August, 2000 - April, 2009
7 comments:
It is so hard to lose such a wonderful member of the family. Our thoughts are with you.
We miss her too. It's even harder to write this knowing that we look at Ori & Gryffin in the same light. Only you and Jer (and others with this true connection with their dogs) could understand the place our four legged kids hold in our hearts.
"A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)
"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."
-Roger Caras
We love you guys.
Oh Tracy.
I love you.
Thanks everyone. It has been a tough thing to finally let this horrible disease take such a fine life.
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. She was a good dog.
All dogs go to heaven; unlike us humans who know sin. Grrrr, bark, woof, good dog!
Losing a pet is one of the saddest things in life.
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