I was tired. I was frustrated. And I didn't care for her attitude so I quietly said "Elspeth, if you would learn some patience you would give me a chance to plan something special, something good, for you."
To my amazement, it got quiet in the back seat, and then I spotted a bakery. We parked and went in, the girls ran from display case to display case with squeals. Mommy generally doesn't allow much sugar, and at 10 in the morning?!?! The woman behind the counter laughed and said she had something special to show the girls. She brought out a tray of iced smiley face cookies, bigger than each girls hand span, they were in love.
Addie happily licked the chocolate smiley face off, Ella ate almost all of hers before she gave up. It was the most peaceful 15 minutes of the day, while I let them tackle their cookies on their own terms.
So much has changed in the last couple weeks. Ella has been so much more peaceful since the day I told her she did not have to go back to school. I don't believe in magic bullets, and we will probably still see some issues, but we have had two really good weeks so I wanted to celebrate.
As the girls savored their treats, I thought about Jeremy and I. We are now less than 2 weeks from his defense. I never thought we would be here, but it happened. He interviewed at San Antonio last week. Next week he will interview with Memphis on Monday (by phone), Salem, VA on Tuesday (in Salem), defend on Thursday (in Illinois) and be home on Saturday. I have been frustrated. I have been impatient. I have wanted to KNOW where we are going. I have been angry that I don't know the plan.
And then it occurred to me how much like a 5 year old I have been acting. I have not had the patience to wait on God so He can plan something good for me, for us. I have not given Him the chance to surprise and delight me. I have been sitting in the back seat yelling "I have TOLD you 100 TIMES God, I want to KNOW NOW!"
Now I am waiting for my big iced smiley faced cookie. I know it will be the BEST cookie I have ever had, and I know it will come at the right time. I don't know where we are going, but I know I am going to love it.
Psalm 46:10 . . . Be still and know that I am God . .
1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.