Friday, April 30, 2010

My Cookie

During a recent trip into the city, the girls and I had time to kill. They were hungry, I knew they needed a snack, and the whining commenced until Elspeth came up with "MOMMY, I told you 100 TIMES, I'm hungry!"

I was tired. I was frustrated. And I didn't care for her attitude so I quietly said "Elspeth, if you would learn some patience you would give me a chance to plan something special, something good, for you."

To my amazement, it got quiet in the back seat, and then I spotted a bakery. We parked and went in, the girls ran from display case to display case with squeals. Mommy generally doesn't allow much sugar, and at 10 in the morning?!?! The woman behind the counter laughed and said she had something special to show the girls. She brought out a tray of iced smiley face cookies, bigger than each girls hand span, they were in love.

Addie happily licked the chocolate smiley face off, Ella ate almost all of hers before she gave up. It was the most peaceful 15 minutes of the day, while I let them tackle their cookies on their own terms.

So much has changed in the last couple weeks. Ella has been so much more peaceful since the day I told her she did not have to go back to school. I don't believe in magic bullets, and we will probably still see some issues, but we have had two really good weeks so I wanted to celebrate.

As the girls savored their treats, I thought about Jeremy and I. We are now less than 2 weeks from his defense. I never thought we would be here, but it happened. He interviewed at San Antonio last week. Next week he will interview with Memphis on Monday (by phone), Salem, VA on Tuesday (in Salem), defend on Thursday (in Illinois) and be home on Saturday. I have been frustrated. I have been impatient. I have wanted to KNOW where we are going. I have been angry that I don't know the plan.

And then it occurred to me how much like a 5 year old I have been acting. I have not had the patience to wait on God so He can plan something good for me, for us. I have not given Him the chance to surprise and delight me. I have been sitting in the back seat yelling "I have TOLD you 100 TIMES God, I want to KNOW NOW!"

Now I am waiting for my big iced smiley faced cookie. I know it will be the BEST cookie I have ever had, and I know it will come at the right time. I don't know where we are going, but I know I am going to love it.

Psalm 46:10 . . . Be still and know that I am God . .

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Saturday, April 24, 2010


This week I remembered to check the toilet to see if it was flushed BEFORE our guests arrived. I nearly celebrated when they each took a turn in the restroom, because I had saved myself from significant embarrassment.

That made me feel like a great Mom.

I had to call Jeremy to come one of my children because I could not drive them home together. My older child is going through issues that I have not been able to blog about, things I don't want to admit to.

That made me feel like a failure as a Mom.

We made the tough decision to pull Elspeth from school effective immediately. The director of the school confessed that they had a bully in her room and that they had not been as effective at controlling the situation as they had hoped. The information I received made me feel quite ill.

That made me hurt as a Mother.

I have finally admitted that the trouble I have in telling people about Elspeth is due to the fact that I am afraid they will stop seeing the amazing child I see.

That is just Motherhood.

We are healing. We are hoping for a better tomorrow. We are praying for peace.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Cousins - Day 1

We decided to stay home on Kev, Michele, and Keely's first day in Arizona. A good idea because we were all tired . . . (I did not take any of these pictures, Kevin and Michele took them all).

All my beautiful nieces have some diva in them. Keely is just letting her inner diva out.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Crazy Eyes

Lets just move in on that case you missed it . . .