Nancy didn't miss a beat when Elspeth asked for a "flower cut." She just started trimming away.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
- Family is more than just blood. A dear friend gave up a huge chunk of her time to drive me to a post-op appointment yesterday (We got there to find my surgeon was not even in the building yet). It couldn't have been fun for her, but she did it chearfully and with the idea that she hopes others will take care of her children the same way in their lives.
- It is a relief to have my husband know me so well, and still like me. Some time several months ago, Jeremy and I were discussing something of great importance. It was so important, I can't recall what it was in the slightest. At one point my husband stated, quite matter of fact, that I didn't know how I felt about the matter. He elaborated that he knew I didn't know because he couldn't read me on how I felt. He was right, and I was surprised once again at how well he knows me. He can tell by each expression what I am thinking, and he still seems to want to be around me. That is a great comfort to me. In the past few days when he hasn't done things I thought he should, I have remembered this and realized that I was ambivalent to begin with, and that surely he would have done anything I truly wanted him to do. This has stopped a few petty arguments, and that seems nice.
- Not picking up my kids is difficult. I tell Elspeth that mommy can't pick her up and she says "That's OK Mommy, I'm going to jump into your arms." I am glad that my parents are coming tomorrow so she stops noticing that I am not holding her. I wonder if I was wise in asking them to wait until Thursday, but that is mute now. Every night I go into her room, and I gently reset her onto her pillow and re-tuck her in. Last night she was half way down her bed and I couldn't move her. I probably would have cried, which seems stupid now, but Jeremy walked by at that moment and realized I needed him to reset her. I think no matter how deeply she is asleep, she feels that moment of love each night. I tell myself she sleeps better for it. You can't convince me otherwise, and I hope you won't try.
-Surgery is not as scary as I thought it was going to be. The anesthesiologist was the same Dr. who gave me an epidural, that made me feel better. Actually, by the time they finally put the mask over my face, I had such a headache that I really wanted someone to put me to sleep. That, I did not expect.
Friday, August 15, 2008
But that was taken field side, approximately 24 hours before she held her daughter for the first time. While I promised (solemnly) that I would post no pictures of their child before they did on their own blog. I think these photos are fair game. :)
Jeremy and I kissed our girls goodbye and sent them off with Grandma and Grandpa (and we missed them more than they missed us) for the night, so we could join Kev and Michele during their final pre-labor hours.
We will not get a night like this again, well , ever. That is OK, future visits will be filled with our kids and lots of family fun. But the last visit of the 4 of us until we are all empty nesters was an evening we will remember for a long time.
In case you don't get my pain, here are actual exerpts from my days:
Expert 1: We need to bold 5-year election in that last paragraph
Ecpert 2: That doesn't make any sense that is not the important part in this [tax] case. The emphasis should be that she didn't take distributions over the lifetime expectancy of the deceased.
Expert 1: But she took it in 5-years which would be fine if she elected to take it over 5-years, the point is she failed to file her ELECTION.
Expert 2: Oh, I see your point, I didn't get the penalty until I got to the last paragraph and found she didn't take the election. We should bold that.
[7 heads turn towards me]
Expert 3: Did you get that Tracy?
[me trying to discreetly wipe drool off face from having dozed for the last five minutes]: Let's see you want me to bold something?(usually a safe guess when you haven't been listening)
Other highlights of my week have been wondering who came up with "death gratuity" for the military. Does someone really show up at a widow's (or widower's) house and tell them they are getting a "death gratuity?" I am not fond of how we treat our military all ready, but seriously, "here's your tip for losing the most important person in your life?"
That is my soapbox. I will step off it now, and resume my happy fun blog.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The maze sounded like a good idea, then it got tricky . . . She could see me, but couldn't get out. . . .
Finally Daddy rescued Elspeth and handed her over the fence.
Addie meet donut, hello donut . . .
No trip is complete without driving the "cool bus" I can't wait to do this 500 more times this fall.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Books to occupy kids, check
Does each girl have her lovey?, check
change of clothes?, check
We must be ready for the semi-annual document the kids birthday photo shoot!
No you can not have the pink cube to sit on, please cross your legs, no not criss cross apple sauce. Can you look at the camera now, keep your ankles crossed. No, don't stick your feet at the camera. Snap It Quick!!
Now the little one. I don't like the way she's looking at me, what is she contemplating. Did you say something about a wardrobe change?
Ok, Honey, try sitting here. This is not working. *sigh*
Snap it, snap it quick! Oh Yes, you got it, that's the smile, Mommy happy dance. We're going to dinner now.
Friday, August 1, 2008
I have learned a lot from my daughters. Yesterday I learned a lesson, that Elspeth has taught before and will have to teach me again. I get caught up in what we are going to do, and I expect her to be as excited as I am. We took her to her favorite pool yesterday, and she was thrilled that we got to go. On the way over to the "big pool" Elspeth stopped, got down and started poking at the base of the fence post. I got irritated, she was delaying us from where we were going, didn't she want to get to the Big Pool?!?
Then it clicked.
For her it is not about where we are going, it is about where we are. If something looks interesting, stop and explore it. I get so caught up in what I think should be fun for my kids, I forget to let my kids have fun. So we stopped and poked at the base of the fence post. It was hard, but it strangely looked like it wouldn't be. It was interesting for someone who finds life interesting.
It was fun, for someone who knows that "fun" is to great to be contained by my definition of "fun." And that if fun could be defined so narrowly as I try to define it, that it would cease to be fun (ok, this is horrible paraphrasing and my apologies to anyone who actually studies any eastern philosophy at all).
Essentially, the tao of fun as taught by my 3 year old. Let go Mom, and enjoy the moment. I wonder when she will be able to stop teaching me this lesson.