Just what I wanted

We were running late this morning (as usual) and Jeremy was trying to shave, dress and manage the baby while I was filling bottles, letting the dogs out and entertaining Elspeth. As I distractedly said "yes dear," I suddenly realized that she had said she had a present for me.

This is one of Ella's favorite games. With our older child, it is not about the having, it is about the getting and giving. She loves the act of present exchange and we have spent hours "wrapping" presents in wash clothes during bath for the fun exchange.

Realizing I was only giving her 1/3 of my attention, I stopped and focused on my beautiful child. There she was with her arm outstretched handing me my present.

"It's a yellow car Mommy, its just just what you wanted."

Funny, but suddenly, I really did want that yellow car, and I slipped it in my pocket for safe keeping. That car is still in my pocket, and every time I pull it out and look at it, I like it a little bit more.

The reality is, that car still belongs to Elspeth, and must be surrendered to its owner upon request; however, today it is a reminder that we don't always know what we want until we have that very thing.

I will confess, there was a day when I thought I wanted a son, but two daughters is just what I wanted. I thought I wanted to be materially rich, but being impecunious and still the richest woman in the world is just what I wanted. I thought I wanted my high powered job at Dell, but the satisfying one that lets me stay home and hug away sickness is just what I wanted. I thought I wanted a big house, but every time the roof doesn't leak our small cozy one is just what I wanted.

I am reminded that we see such a small part of the picture, that we can not possibly know what we want all the time, and I am grateful that God sees our needs before we know we have them. I am grateful that He has a plan and a way, and I see in my life everything that is just what I wanted.