Cacti and Sunshine

The average high in December is 66 (low is 42). Hmmm. I can deal.

We get to see real cacti (my boss spent a lot of time trying to help me learn the proper pronounciation of Saguaro).

I may find a latent ability to tan (OK, this is a stretch, but I will try).

Elspeth is excited about staying home with Mommy (and so is mommy).

For someone who struggles with depression, moving to the sunniest city in the Continental U.S. (I am not sure that is a fact, but I am sure it is close) is not a bad thing.

Little girls in summer dresses 9 months of the year.

All these are good things. Last night Addie started coughing and couldn't stop. We finally went in with medicine. After we coaxed her to take it, she rested her head on my shoulder and relaxed. I held her and was surprised by how HEAVY she is. I spent hours holding Ella like that, but Addie's life is slipping by and I am not savoring the days. For at least one year, I will spend my days with her sunshine smile. For at least one year, I will help Elspeth continue to develop into the amazing young lady she is becoming.

I am not sure how domestic I will be, I ruined 5 lbs. of roast yesterday (in my defense I was slightly distracted in my preparations by the sudden epiphany that I was moving over a thousand miles away and I ONLY forgot the water, which was apparently important).

But no one seemed to mind pot roast veggies and pizza for dinner, and the company was still good. So I guess I will laugh and move on when my lack of domesticity rears its head.

This Day is not Real

I have had to look at people I love today and say over and over "We are leaving."

I realized we are taking Ella away from her best friend.

I just got done re-writing my job description with my boss so the search committee can be convened.

I have to say goodbye in a very real timeframe.

I had babies here.

I grew here.

I watched my husband grow.

I keep stopping to cry at my desk.

I am excited. But goodbye is not easy. Most likely, we will not come back this way again.

This day is not real.

Adventure-Bound

Tucson. Tucson. Tucson.

In too much shock to comment more.

Going or staying?

Congratulations! You have been matched to an internship position.

That's the email I (Jeremy) received a few minutes ago. So our family knows that we'll either (a) move someplace much warmer late this summer or (b) stay put in Central Illinois.

I know which option I prefer but it's not exactly my choice at this point. On Monday morning, we find out which path has been set before us. The challenge now is to not worry about might be, but to remember that God is good whether or not things work out like I want.

Happy Birthday Elspeth

43 friends and family converged to celbrate the 4ness of Ella, a process she hopes to recreate daily.

Vacation Highlights (it has to be done)

Take Grandma for a walk on the beach.

If you wake up and it's chilly outside, Elspeth insists on a rousing game of "Sink or Float" (Thank you Celina for introducing that gem to our world, and thank you Grandma for not objecting when you found your large pot full of water and toys as you awoke.)

If it's still chilly, you get to open your Valentine's Day gift from Grandma and Grandpa early because Mommy knows there is a long sleeved shirt in there and Mommy didn't pack you enough long sleeved shirts for the trip.

Going to the amusement park and driving a truck all by yourself (no adults allowed).

And Mommy's personal favorite. Grandpa fitting all 6 feet 3 inches in a space designed for 4 feet so that you can fly an airplane together.

Status: Doctoral Candidate

Verdict overall pleasant. Challenging questions. He enjoyed it.

He passed!

My Husband Proposes Today

Next month we will celebrate our 12th anniversary. A clean dozen, well it hasn't really been clean. It has been up and down and sometimes downright messy. I can laugh now about mopping up vomit when we first discovered Ella gets carsick, but it wasn't funny at the time.

Over half our marriage has been centered where we live now, something I find hard to believe. We have connected with our community, our church, our friends. We had babies here. I saw the man I loved, because he was so much fun to play with, become the man I love because he isn't faking it when he is pleased to get a welcome home gift from his girls that some would see as a box full of scribbled on paper. I would guess he still has those drawings somewhere.

We have changed. Mostly we like who we are now better than our younger versions.

And now we finally culminate in a day that I have waited for longer than I have truly understand.

Today my husband proposes.

Not to me.

To a committee of four academics who will decide if his research is valuable or worthy to pursue. Who will decide if his study is structured in a way that it will actually capture the data he seeks to find. People who have a lot of power over our lives.

I am in awe of the event that takes place today at 2:00, but not worried. He is ready.

Chick Bits

Ella turns 4 this week. We are getting ready for the big day.

I have let her help me with the party preparations this year which leads to the following:

"Can we look at the ice cream again? Just look, I will leave it in the freezer, otherwise it will melt."

"Can I look at the goodie bags, I won't open them. My friends are going to be so proud of me."

I think she is excited.