HennChicks - Road Trip Edition

My Cookie

2010-04-30T19:19:00.005-05:00

During a recent trip into the city, the girls and I had time to kill. They were hungry, I knew they needed a snack, and the whining commenced until Elspeth came up with "MOMMY, I told you 100 TIMES, I'm hungry!"

I was tired. I was frustrated. And I didn't care for her attitude so I quietly said "Elspeth, if you would learn some patience you would give me a chance to plan something special, something good, for you."

To my amazement, it got quiet in the back seat, and then I spotted a bakery. We parked and went in, the girls ran from display case to display case with squeals. Mommy generally doesn't allow much sugar, and at 10 in the morning?!?! The woman behind the counter laughed and said she had something special to show the girls. She brought out a tray of iced smiley face cookies, bigger than each girls hand span, they were in love.

Addie happily licked the chocolate smiley face off, Ella ate almost all of hers before she gave up. It was the most peaceful 15 minutes of the day, while I let them tackle their cookies on their own terms.

So much has changed in the last couple weeks. Ella has been so much more peaceful since the day I told her she did not have to go back to school. I don't believe in magic bullets, and we will probably still see some issues, but we have had two really good weeks so I wanted to celebrate.

As the girls savored their treats, I thought about Jeremy and I. We are now less than 2 weeks from his defense. I never thought we would be here, but it happened. He interviewed at San Antonio last week. Next week he will interview with Memphis on Monday (by phone), Salem, VA on Tuesday (in Salem), defend on Thursday (in Illinois) and be home on Saturday. I have been frustrated. I have been impatient. I have wanted to KNOW where we are going. I have been angry that I don't know the plan.

And then it occurred to me how much like a 5 year old I have been acting. I have not had the patience to wait on God so He can plan something good for me, for us. I have not given Him the chance to surprise and delight me. I have been sitting in the back seat yelling "I have TOLD you 100 TIMES God, I want to KNOW NOW!"

Now I am waiting for my big iced smiley faced cookie. I know it will be the BEST cookie I have ever had, and I know it will come at the right time. I don't know where we are going, but I know I am going to love it.

Psalm 46:10 . . . Be still and know that I am God . .

1 Peter 5:6-7

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

truth

2010-04-24T20:20:00.005-05:00

This week I remembered to check the toilet to see if it was flushed BEFORE our guests arrived. I nearly celebrated when they each took a turn in the restroom, because I had saved myself from significant embarrassment.

That made me feel like a great Mom.

I had to call Jeremy to come one of my children because I could not drive them home together. My older child is going through issues that I have not been able to blog about, things I don't want to admit to.

That made me feel like a failure as a Mom.

We made the tough decision to pull Elspeth from school effective immediately. The director of the school confessed that they had a bully in her room and that they had not been as effective at controlling the situation as they had hoped. The information I received made me feel quite ill.

That made me hurt as a Mother.

I have finally admitted that the trouble I have in telling people about Elspeth is due to the fact that I am afraid they will stop seeing the amazing child I see.

That is just Motherhood.

We are healing. We are hoping for a better tomorrow. We are praying for peace.

Cousins - Day 1

2010-04-08T09:28:00.002-05:00

We decided to stay home on Kev, Michele, and Keely's first day in Arizona. A good idea because we were all tired . . . (I did not take any of these pictures, Kevin and Michele took them all).

All my beautiful nieces have some diva in them. Keely is just letting her inner diva out.

Crazy Eyes

2010-04-07T00:14:00.004-05:00

Lets just move in on that case you missed it . . .

Prepare to Defend Yourself

2010-03-11T15:04:00.003-06:00

We have been waiting, praying and longing for Jeremy's defense. At last it is booked for May 12th at 2:00 pm. In 2 months Jeremy will convince 4 faculty members that his research is valid and valuable. Quite frankly, if he can get FOUR faculty members in the same room at the same time with no real leverage, he must be ready to defend. Booking this gig has been an event in and of itself.

So what is it like to defend a dissertation. I don't know, but I have theories.

Did you ever take a LONG car ride and decide to not stop on the way, and thought you might explode by the time you reached your destination and its bathroom. I think that this must feel like that last five miles when you are still not sure you will make it (although, my surgically enhanced bladder makes this analogy some what mute for me, but that is a post for a different day).

Have you ever passed a due date for your child's birth with no birth? Yeah, I think this is like that.

When I hit the 13 mile point, and I am running 13.1 miles (half marathon length), that last .1 miles is VERY long.

Then I remember that Jeremy once ran a whole marathon. And I wonder if this is like running 13.1 miles more after you thought you were nearly done with the race. And I think that probably is the best analogy that I can come up with. It makes me proud of my husband.

If we had known what this path would really look like, well, probably we wouldn't have started down this road. But we did. And Jeremy always finishes what he starts. We have a number of unknowns still in our lives. Where will we live next year topping the list. But I know Jeremy will have met this milestone with grace and strength, as he tackles all the things in life. So on May 12th you will probably hear more on this topic, but for now, know that Jeremy is at last preparing to defend himself.

Dangerous Game

2010-03-09T11:11:00.005-06:00

A typical family dessert time . . .

Elspeth: Hugging a cactus
Family: Oh, that's dangerous
Addie: I eat pizza and burn my mouth!
Family: Oh, that's dangerous
Mommy: Crossing a parking lot without holding Mommy's hand
Family: Oh that's dangerous
Daddy: Opening the door without Mommy or Daddy
Family: very very dangerous
Elspeth: Jumping off a cliff
Family: Oh, very dangerous
Addie: (she is distracted by ice cream that has somehow fallen in her sleeve and is chasing it up her arm)

Oh yeah, this is thrill seeking Henn family style.

Some other favorite "games?" What will you find in an Easter Egg (chocolate and bouncy balls tops that list) and "What are some nice things to say to friends." are some other frequent games the kids like to play. . .

Roller Girls

2010-02-22T14:24:00.004-06:00

Elspeth has requested "bottom pads" to go with her knee and elbow pads for her new skates.
Try try again. . .
While Elspeth leaves the room . . .

Anatomy of a Henn Family Birthday

2010-02-17T13:39:00.011-06:00

5:00 - snooze button
5:03 - give in, because it only gets harder to catch up if you snooze too long.
5:30 - hit the gym for a run
6:20 - Confess to Amanda that I have to bail early so I can go home and make bacon. Promise to do some ab work later.
7:00 - gather everyone at table for rare family breakfast. Be thankful that no one seems to mind I haven't showered since my five mile run
7:25 - Kiss birthday boy goodbye, head for shower, smile because Ella is running for underwear and has announced that 5 year olds wear underwear (at last we may have won the underwear wars).
8:00 - Emerge from bathroom and realize I seem to be missing some pillows. Go looking for my kids. To my surprise I find my daughter has gone potty AND is wearing her ballet clothes. I forgive her for playing parachute with my pillows and her bed. Convene the surprise birthday committee (if I plan things sooner there is no surprise, because they leak like sieve when excited about something)
8:10 - Brush girls teeth and hair
8:24 - head to store where Ella selects a bouncy ball for gift (blue) and Addie selects a train (red). My children are now calling the dollar store the present store, we are big spenders.
8:57 - Realize I have just enough time to drop off Jeremy's overdue library books on our way to dance class
9:15 - entrust Elspeth to the dance teacher at the clubhouse, and apologize to Lara and Dawn because I have forgotten our stroller. Addie will have to walk around the lake, which means Kiran will have to walk around the lake, which means we will be lucky if we make it the mile around the lake in 45 minutes.
9:50 - Arrive back at clubhouse, wrestle older child into skirt and t-shirt, and hit playground
11:00 - collect Baby Firetruck and Little Rocket from playground and head to car to hit one more store before heading home.
11:02 - What is that smell? Oh, that smells REALLY bad. I will deal with it at home, we can skip the store.
11:06 - Oh dear. Addie must have a virus, or someone was feeding her juice. Silent prayer of thanks that I caved and let her wear a pull-up this morning. If THAT had no barrier, we would have lost the car seat for sure.
11:10 - send message to friends that A - Addie may have been contagious at the playground this morning, and B - we will have to skip the playdate this afternoon (Addie must go into quarantine until diarrhea is over).
11:15 - Pull out every art supply we own to make Daddy's birthday cards
12:00 - Set the first wave of cards aside to dry and start lunch. Addie doesn't seem to feel sick, I wonder if she got her hands on juice somewhere?
1:14 - Put Addie down for nap
1:30 - wonder how kitchen gets into this state so quickly
1:45 - finally unearth counter and start making cupcakes with Elspeth
2:08 - Cupcakes are baking, would like to send Ella in for quiet time but Addie is fighting nap for second day in row. Wonder if my 2 year old is on a nap strike.
2:58 - Tell Elspeth she will have quiet time in my room. Leave her with a room full of books, tell her she can not get up at 3.
2:59 - Can I clean up after our card making party, fold all the laundry, dust and vacuum in the half hour I agreed to hold Ella's quiet time to?
3:40 - No I can't do all those things in a half hour. Let Elspeth get up. Realize that Addie gave in. Feel happy about that.
4:00 - Addie wakes up cranky. Time to get serious about our surprise party, Elspeth and I enter into disagreement as to whether toys on living room floor constitute "decorations." I pull the Mommy trump card, she is too excited to care.
4:01 - Time to wrap Daddy's Birthday presents
4:15 - Time to frost the cupcakes
4:20 - The BIRTHDAY CARDS!!! Grab them and convince the kids to complete their projects. Sigh with relief that nothing needs to dry, we can be ready on time.
4:35 - Give up the "perfect home" idea and stow the clean laundry in the bedroom to fold later
4:45 - Call Daddy to establish ETA, realize he will be home soon
5:00 - hide
5:01 - Get out of hiding spots
5:01:30 - Hide again
5:02:00 - Get out of hiding spots and look out window
5:02:20 - Hide in all new spots
5:03:05 - Everyone switch spots
5:03:20 - Get out of hiding spots and look out window again
5:03:45 - Hide in all new spots
5:04 - Daddy walks in and we all yell "SURPRISE"
5:15 - Daddy opens presents
5:30 - Late for soccer
6:15 - Arrive Home
6:30 - The Key to world peace? Act like a short order cook and make custom dinners for kids
6:45 - Mmmmm, Skyline (I love being married to a Cincy boy, and I love his parents for sending us a supply for Valentine's Day)
7:00 - Are you still with me? This is the one moment of peace in the day. I hope you are enjoying it, Jeremy and I did.
7:15 - Sing happy birthday and dig into cupcakes (Great Value vanilla ice cream is one step away from cool whip).
7:25 - The phone is ringing, I start to rise but realize it must be for Jeremy
7:35 - Blog while Jeremy talks to his parents (I could have some time here folks)
7:40 - Bath time
7:52 - Diagnose the strange brown hand print on the toilet as Addie's chocolate ice cream artwork. Jeremy is much relieved.
Can I clean off the table, load the dishwasher, take out the recycling and get jammies for the kids and remove Ella's "library" from my bed in 20 minutes? No.
8:18- Bedtime 1 for Child number 2 (Make Way for Ducklings)
8:30 - Bedtime 2 for Child number 1 (Cookie Monster has a Bad Dream)
8:35 - Wonder if "sucking it in" counts as ab work?
8:40 - Give up ambitions of laundry (despite Karin's warning that it has the reproductive capabilities of bunnies) and decide to go to bed.

"All the days ordained for me
were written in Your book
before one of them came to be."
(Psalm 139:16b, NIV)

Happy Birthday Jeremy. We love you

Signs of Life

2010-02-16T19:10:00.003-06:00

We've been here 6 months and still haven't seen as much rain in that entire time as a good summer rain in Ohio. Yet the cacti keep growing, and we are learning to appreciate their more extreme beauty.
2010 has been interesting to say the least. Elspeth is growing so fast now that I find myself grabbing her for hugs with the knowledge that soon her innocence will change and there will be a restraint in her hugs that is not there now.

Addie begged me to take her picture on a turtle, about 500 0f them. It was totally random, and reminded me that both my girls are characters.

Elspeth turned 5 last week. We delivered Valentine's cards to several local nursing homes on Sunday. The people I visit enjoy my visits, but it quickly became clear that my gift to them was bringing Elspeth. She doled out the huggs and kisses freely, and stopped to talk to anyone who wanted to engage her. She used her most polite voice and words. I thought my gift to them was bringing her, but I so enjoyed her being a wonderful human being, that I realized it was a great big gift to myself. It is a truly gratifying moment to realize you are raising a nice individual. Of course we came home and she pushed her sister, but you can't have it all.

Addie is finally willing to conceed that potty use might be OK. She earned a Blue Lightening McQueen (in photo with her) by filling a potty chart. Today she went potty by herself for the first time. I had no idea what was going on until she ran out with no pants on, ahh, I was proud.

Last fall Elspeth received a packet of sunflower seeds. The woman at the booth warned that these would be difficult to grow. Ella "planted" them under the rocks in our yard and watered them one time last August. I did not tell her they would never grow, but she mourned them for several days when they didn't immediately sprout up. Our rainy season is now upon us so Ella and I were weeding the backyard. I nearly pulled these two up, until I noticed they are still wearing their seed pods, two of her seeds have actually germinated. She has named them Sunny and Rock.

Proof that life happens, even when you least expect it.

Old Friends

2010-02-15T17:42:00.003-06:00

Shortly before we were married, Jeremy and I leased our first apartment in anticipation of our wedding day. We each dumped our stuff in the apartment before our wedding and sorted it out when the honey moon was over (a way to shorten any honeymoon). Soon after taking possession, when we were still pie eyed and would stop by just to dream about the day we would live there together, we realized we had been placed in a dog building.

Like any normal people, our parents assumed this would be annoying and suggested we see if we could be moved to another building. We were both quiet on the subject, and at one point my fiance looked at me and quietly mentioned that he liked the idea of a dog. The very thought I had been having. Several months later, we took his first bonus and adopted Miss Holly Golightly.

Holly has not been the perfect dog, she would not give Lassie a run for her money, but then we have not been the perfect pet owners. Shortly after we got her, we found out she was allergic to humans, then we found out I was allergic to dogs, we decided to keep each other. We have drug her through 4 states now, and she has loved each one. In a way, her joy came first from food, then from being with her family (but be clear on this, food was first).

So it has been hard to watch her struggle as cancer has taken over her body. She slowed down, she struggled more to get up. Sometimes she would fall, and then just stay put as though she were stuck. The calcium leaching cancer started to act on her teeth and eating became difficult. Slowly this disease, loved by none, visited indignity after indignity on our faithful dog.

Today we said goodbye to Miss Holly GoLightly.

There are things we can not change. There are facts that are cold and hard and unmovable forces, and death is one of them. I do not honestly know how I feel about the loss of my old friend. I have joked as she snored in the corner over the last few months that she gave "work like a dog" new meaning. I have also felt her nuzzle me when I was ill, or just sad. I wouldn't have traded her annoying or wonderful habits for life without her. and now our home is colder and more empty. And I miss the snores already and the gentle love that only a dog can provide.

safari

2009-12-29T16:44:00.004-06:00

Merry Christmas

2009-12-29T16:35:00.004-06:00

Treasure

2009-12-16T13:58:00.005-06:00

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Luke 2:19

I am hoping you are finding the treasure this season brings.

Photos by harkinsdesigns.net

Shocking

2009-11-08T14:19:00.001-06:00

Today Addie is wearing a skirt today that Elspeth wore last week.

Better Late than Never . . . Halloween!

2009-11-06T08:30:00.003-06:00

Sigh

2009-10-22T15:09:00.003-05:00

I put her down at 11:30, so we would be on time to Ella's Parent-Teacher conference. She talked for 1 hour 27 minutes. Then it got quiet, 3 minutes before I was going to get her up. The purple blanket that she is sleeping on is Ella's and WAS NOT in the crib with her when she went down for a nap.

Really, I thought I had this timing thing nailed. Addie had her own plans.

The Big Show

2009-10-19T20:44:00.003-05:00

Runs daily, visitors welcome . . . .

The 154

2009-10-05T11:26:00.004-05:00

These are the two happiest Jr. Firemen you ever saw (and the goofiest too!), the men at Green Valley 154 know how to show a kid a good time.

A Good Day

2009-09-25T16:51:00.004-05:00

This is my elder child right now. She has been like this for over 2 hours. Her sister more than 2 1/2 hours.

Maybe its because they haven't napped at all the last two days.

Maybe its because they were up at 5:30 (just in time that I could send one with Daddy on his morning run and not hoard all that cranky for myself).

Maybe its because we rushed them through their morning routine so we could take Daddy into the city for work.

Maybe its because after taking Daddy to work, we walked around our lake (1 mile) and then spent the rest of the morning with friends in the pool.

For whatever reason, I feel the cranky leaving our house with each passing moment.

I hope your day is this good too!

Great Moments in Parenting

2009-09-18T13:26:00.001-05:00

Since taking over as the primary care giver, I have enforced an independent getting dressed policy with Elspeth. This means she sometimes has had on 2 pairs of undwear, or doesn't match, but I get over it.

Today I found out why I need to rethink that policy. We stopped by a bed store (Addie is nearing the end of crib time). As the girls were playing on various beds, I chatted with the salesman. Ella sat on her favorite bed (she is picking beds by color for the record) with her legs splayed out.

The salesman was trying hard not to look at her.

Hmmm, I looked over and about had a heart attack on the spot. I scooped her in my arms and asked, "Elspeth, when you got dressed this morning, did you forget your underwear?"

"I think I did, she answered."

How lucky that she wore a dress today.

I think I will need to start an inspection routine before we leave the house.

Communication

2009-09-17T08:36:00.003-05:00

A I attempted to call customer service for help (the reason why is not relevant to this story). The guy I spoke to was polite. He spoke English (with an accent, but very understandable). I didn't think we would have an issue until 30 minutes later, it was clear he still didn't know what I wanted. We spoke the same words, but we didn't speak the same language.

Several nights a week, we head up to the neighborhood park after dinner. The girls love it, and so do I. Elspeth has bonded with two little boys, if they are all there, they are all together. They will follow her into any adventure, and Elspeth loves a good follower. I knew they spoke Spanish, but it was only 2 nights ago that I finally heard Elspeth say "Do you speak English too?" I listened intently, as the older boy said "No." They don't understand many of each others words, but they speak the same language.

I was sitting next to the boys mother when this exchange took place. This explains why we have had such limited communication. She speaks some English, but I am guessing enough to get by and not enough to chat about milestones, etc. After the boys let Elspeth know they spoke no English, she paused, you could tell we were both holding our breaths for her reaction (she to make sure her boys didn't get hurt, me to make sure my unpredictable child didn't say something rude in a tone that let them know it was rude). Elspeth started babbling in a stream of Spanish colors, using the first vocab that came to her mind at the moment, their mother and I laughed out loud. I then witnessed my child, who does not often care to be touched by others, throw her arm around one of the boys several times at the park, announcing "these are my friends!"

Elspeth has decided it is necessary to create something of her own language. She is correct, the English language is not as precise as it could be. Yesterday she created "Flimitz" which is defined as something that only "mommies and daddies" can do. So much easier now that we have a word. Stove? Flimitz. Putting Holly on leash? Flimitz. We headed out to the car, Elspeth paused. Instead of playing with the garage door, she announced "Flimitz!" I love this word.

Remember her Spanish speaking friends, she started to try to figure out how to ask for the bathroom in Spanish. I have misgivings about going over this, envisioning my child asking her new friends for the bathroom. But we started to go over the words. She announced "They are Spanish speakers and we are English speakers." True. "Mommy, how do you ask for the bathroom in English?"

pause.

"Well, honey, we speak English, you just ask for the bathroom."

"No! Mommy, Grandma had another English way."

*sigh*

"Believe me Elspeth, Grandma and I are going to have a LONG talk about this."

Communication.

Chick Bits

2009-09-06T09:26:00.002-05:00

On the way through the mountains:

Jeremy: Elspeth, how you doing?

Elspeth: 30 pounds deep!

Jeremy: 30 pounds deep?

Elspeth: Yeah. 30 pounds deep. That's how I'm feeling.

Our week in review

2009-09-04T08:45:00.009-05:00

Meet Skyscraper Jackson. Yeah, I'm talking about the plant. My niece picked it out as a house warming present from her family (she liked the "braid" of the stem). I was thrilled to get a shade plant in the desert (I believe my words were "dead plant arriving."). It is thriving in my kitchen, and my daughter decided it needed a name. This is what happens when we have little girls ruling the world. Plants happily living in completely wrong climates with ridiculous names. It works for me.
We took a fieldtrip to an orchard to pick apples.
The trees were so ladden, Ella had no trouble picking apples. After buying a lot of unripe apples, we decided to go home and make applesauce. Lots of it. Elspeth named the applesauce Mr. Sun.

Some friends invited us to go to the zoo with them, so we headed out for a day in search of elephants.
Ella loved the pachyderms, but the lioness attempting to eat small children through the glass had all the mothers edgy. The kids were excited about being kissed by a lion.
Elspeth raided Daddy's closet.

What Ella does, Addie must do too.

Elspeth started pre-school yesterday. She seemed to have a good time, but the only thing I got out of her was that there was a boy named Isaiah in her class. She rushed to assure me that it wasn't her cousin Isaiah (really? I was thinking he flew 2,000 miles to go to a 4 year old class and forgot to mention he would be in the area).

The boy we went to the zoo with, Ryan, is in her class, that helps. She is looking forward to going back to their water table and sand box.

While she was gone, Addie and I were faced with who the life of our party really is. Elspeth barely stops talking to breath, I guess we have just gotten used to giving her the air time, it was quiet without her. We hit the store, and since I had only one goofy child to play with, she finally had enough yelling "Hey Mommy, mommy, MOMMY. No MORE Kisses!"

Clearly we are going to have to create a new balance when Ella is gone.

Elspeth's Desert

2009-08-28T08:32:00.006-05:00

Photography by Elspeth (we lost the cord to her camera, and it is proprietary, so we have finally caved and let her use ours - with supervision and a cord attached).

Startling but unrelated truths

2009-08-24T17:44:00.002-05:00

Addie sometimes talks in a voice that sounds familiar. I just placed it. It is the voice of Stuart, the annoying re-occurring sketch on Mad TV (I don't know if they still have it or not).

I just took some trash out (3:45) and was pleasantly surprised that the heat didn't about strip my skin off. I am going to let the girls play outside, it feels reasonable. I also just looked at the thermometer, it is 96 degrees out. Our coolest day yet, but still, have I already gotten to a place where 96 feels cool?!?!

Week 1

2009-08-21T10:16:00.003-05:00

Locked the kids out in the elements with no water

Got a note from the IRS that we owe them $1,200 for 2007 taxes

Dog nearly died after eating entire bottle of pills

Subaru is making signs that it will follow mechanics prediction of eminent failure.

Despite it all, I am having a good week. As Michele pointed out, if I hadn't locked the kids out, I wouldn't have known Gretchen when I needed hydrogen peroxide NOW to induce vomiting on dog (which the vet firmly credits for saving dog). The kids are happily preparing a surprise party for Jeremy (don't tell him until after 5:00 our time tonight ;0), I am blogging.

After nearly 3 weeks of not being able to communicate with anyone outside my home, I hooked up VOIP (thanks to my brother in law who is nicer to me that I deserve) today. I got my first phone call this morning, from Robin letting us know the arrival and departure times for their trip to visit (yeah, ETHAN AND MAX ARE COMING!!).

Holly and I took a walk this week. It started to rain, I Know because it was hitting my head and shoulders. But it is so dry and hot in the desert, not one rain drop made a mark on the pavement. That is dry. The rain can't make it to the ground. If the temp is in the upper nineties, it is so dry, you are cold coming out of the pool. It is so dry, we get temp indexes LOWER than actual temps in the summer (temp 92, feels like 87). That NEVER happens in the midwest, at least until it is cold.

So some bad things happened this week. Really good things are happening too.

The Score

2009-08-17T16:27:00.007-05:00

Elspeth starts creative dance tomorrow, she gave us a preview. She is creative. Whether they will call it dance . . .
We were so excited to wake up to a steady rain one morning. I let the girls go out and play in their PJs. Addie really got into the spirit of things.

They made me a hot tub. Elspeth said she washed her hands and feet in it. She didn't understand why I carried her straight to the bath tub . . .

We got a family membership to the Sonoran Desert Museum (its a zoo, but they don't like to be called that). The Red Bird of Paradise are beautiful in the field pictured above.
Addie was more interested in the flaps to get into the hummingbird aviary, than any of the actual hummingbirds.
Elspeth models her sun hat and sun glasses, we don't go anywhere without them these days.
These photos are not doctored. That is the color of our backyard at sun set. We keep the house closed so tightly, we missed this at first. Now we know to start opening up around 5:30 to catch the show.

Which brings me to today. Jeremy started today. I don't think he will get to do much in behavioral health, this is the cattle call orientation for all new employees. He is probably hearing a lot about health care choices and where to park.

Since this is my first day flying solo, I have recalled that Jeremy's first day at home with the girls was fantastic. I don't like to keep score, but, well I have felt the pressure to equal his first day (don't ask him about day 2).

What I have done right:
1 - I set the timer for 1 hour of free play so I could get some boxes unpacked. That way, I called an end to free play before the girls crashed and burned. They are still excited to have the toys back after 14 weeks of respite, they loved it.

2 - Went to the pool this morning. I haven't heard a peep from their room in over an hour, pool = nap.

3 - I fed them a nutritious and balanced lunch.

What I have done wrong:

1 - After we left the house for the pool. I locked up (good), I started the car to get the air conditioner going because it was in the upper 90s (still good). I heard the cooler of water bottles I was taking for post-pool drinks hit the lock as I was getting in and thought to myself, the car has just locked, be sure to unlock it before you get back out to let the girls inside. I stepped out of the car, and the door slid closed behind me (bad, very very bad). I walked around the car to make sure ALL the locks had engaged (they had). Locked outside in the upper 90s with no water and no way to get into either my house or my car (phone locked in car). We started knocking on doors until we met Gretchen. Who smiled, let the kids pillage her 8 year old sons room while I called AAA, and gave us each a cold bottle of water for the wait. For the record. When it gets that hot, AAA will try to rush the call if you mention the small children. Before that, you are just the stupid woman who locked her keys in her running car, THEY are innocent bystanders.

2 - Despite Holly's clear signals that she needed to go OUT, I thought I could get Addie down before I took the dog out. I was wrong. At least we still have a carpet cleaner.

3 - I meant to give them baths before nap, but we were late to the pool, late to lunch, and late to nap. I was in danger of missing my window. But my saving grace is I haven't changed their sheets yet today, so at least they are greasing up the dirty sheets that I will pull off after nap. I am going to have to figure out a plan B, or give up some of my ideas about clean. The desert is dusty and dirty. If I bath them after the pool, but before the walk up to the neighborhood park at dusk, they are filthy. Actually, so am I. I have scrubbed my tub 2 times a day for 3 days, but I can't get rid of the perfect footprint in the bottom of the tub. Because it is so perfect, it is obvious that it is mine and not Jeremy's. The desert may not be the place for open toe. I am going to start polling the other moms at the playground about how to get things CLEAN again. . .

So, am I winning?

On the fence? I tried to "educate" my older child about how we live in the Sonoran Desert. She took this well, I thought. Today she asked me if our friend Ethan was going to visit us in the "Snoring Desert." *sigh*

Don't Cry Because it's Over, Smile Because it Happened.

2009-08-15T12:02:00.005-05:00

Quote (title) attributed to Dr. Seuss.

We are in recovery. Coming off our most bittersweet summer. We got to live with some of our dearest friends (I still catch myself thinking, I'll ask Sylvia about that next time I see her whenever I find something I would like to mull over with someone). We got to spend time with our church, we got to celebrate people we love.

We miss everyone.

Whenever I catch myself feeling sad, I remember how lucky I am that we got to spend all those years in such a great community. We are not unlucky to have left, we are blessed that we got to be there at all.

Road Show

2009-08-05T09:34:00.005-05:00

Smear me Mommy!

2009-07-23T15:29:00.005-05:00

This is why my life is good. My kids are NEVER boring.

Addie showed signs of the family allergies early on. As we are getting ready to go off my incredible health insurance, we took a page from a cousin and decided to do the skin test. If we put some peanut butter on her and she broke out in a rash, she has the allergy, if not, we have grown out of it. I asked Sylvia if I could borrow some PB, and headed to our basement lair.

Addie was upset when I first smeared it on, then I smeared some on myself as a sign of solidarity. We set the timer. We cleaned it off. We rejoiced at the smooth unblemished skin where the PB had been. The mood must have been infectious. Every day, several times a day, Addie asks me to smear her with peanut butter. I am sure bystanders think they have mis-heard my two year old. Today she had her first PB and J sandwich. She loved it. So did I.

While I was home for lunch, my older daughter informed me that it was my birthday. I thought that was cute. I just got an IM from my husband letting me know there was a surprise birthday party waiting for me at home. I really hope it involves cake. Seriously, a big one.

Ella has started using age as the ultimate cop out. She will put her face under water during swim lessons when she is "all grown up." That's nice. Who will be paying for those lessons? During our weekly toe nail polishing party last Friday, we hit a road bump when it came to clipping her nails. After much debate, she declared she would be happy to clip her nails. When she is 35. Hmmm. I just got a visual.

Shine on

2009-07-22T13:06:00.004-05:00

I finally have a new camera (thanks to generous going away gifts) that lets me capture that cheesy grin Addie likes to flash at me.

Lame Duck

2009-07-16T13:11:00.003-05:00

My replacement started in the office today.

This is just another milestone in a series that is inevitably marching us out of Illinois. We sold the house, we signed a lease, now I am irrevocably going to be out of this job.

The realization that this is the result of my own choices does not make this easy. I keep telling the new girl how lucky she is.

I am serving for the last time in our church on Sunday.

We are scheduling "last" dinner dates and BBQs with friends.

Everywhere I turn, I am a lame duck. And that sounds kind of sad, but it isn't really. We have known about this move for 5 months now. I spent the first 4 bitter, angry and generally moody. Now that we are almost at launch, I have finally stopped throwing pity parties for myself and started looking forward to the next step.

Elspeth likes to tell me, "we will have a lot of good adventure in Arizona Mommy." and I am beginning to think she is right.

That kid is something else.

What are the signs?

2009-07-15T13:42:00.002-05:00

This is Elspeth's favorite street sign. She really wants it to be my favorite sign too, but I am not ready to commit. Picking your favorite street sign is harder than you might think.

Random thoughts on a rainy day

2009-07-08T12:59:00.004-05:00

In honor of Addie's 2nd birthday . . .

I haven't been able to post pictures lately, because I don't have any on my computer (they are on Jeremy's). My cousin snapped this shot of Addie getting her groove on at a July 4th Wedding reception. The girls danced until Ella got blisters. They thought it was the greatest party ever.

Here is a random shot from the living room in my future home into the dining room/hallway. The couch is in the dining room. The paint looks exactly like a color I would pick. I guess that is why my husband chose this place, he could see me there.

Last night I had to scrub the tub before I threw the girls in it. My girls love to help me clean and they crowded around as I went to town with the Scrubbing bubbles. Ella was in chatter mode, and it went like this:

E: Mommy, we like to clean
Me: Yes, a clean home is nice
E: Some people are good at cleaning and some people are not good at cleaning
Me: Yes, that is true
E: We are good at cleaning. (pause) But the Jacksons are better at it.

*sigh*

From the files of truth hurts. :)

Altered Reality

2009-07-07T09:03:00.003-05:00

If you are considering inviting a family of 4 to come live with you any time soon, you should know this: Previous to our arrival, the Jacksons only hired a plumber to do things like, put in a new bathroom.

Fast forward to 5 weeks after our arrival, while playing house yesterday. Instead of who will be the mommy or the daddy, the Jackson children were deciding who would be the plumber.

That best portion of a good man's life; His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love. --William Wordsworth

Not Enough Coffee

2009-07-04T06:26:00.004-05:00

7:11 p.m. Arrived in MI, Mom and Dad have dinner waiting at hotel. Kids refuse to eat it. This is going to be fun

9:05 p.m. Put kids to bed, this should work, they are tired and it is about bedtime, our time.

9:30 pm. Jeremy goes into room and works his "daddy magic" kids actually go to sleep.

11:00 p.m. - We say goodnight to my parents and sneak into the room, our kids are now fast asleep.

12:00 a.m. - Jeremy and I exchange a look, we realize neither of us is going to sleep.

4:30 a.m. - Still restless, we see the turtle stars on the ceiling, a good sign that Ella is not asleep in the next bed.

5:30 a.m. - I give up and sneak into the bathroom. I plan to escape to the lobby. Ella sits up, I whisper that, if she is quiet, she can go with me. I am shocked, she IS quiet.

5:35 a.m. - the desk clerk informs me that breakfast ISN'T open yet. Seriously, it makes a big difference if I wait 20 minutes to take that stale muffin. I don't care, we didn't come out for the food. I take coffee and dare her to comment.

5:45 a.m. - Ella and I step outside the door to get some brochures to play with. We get locked out, the desk clerk gives me a look that would make a lesser woman cry when I ring the bell for re-entry.

5:50 a.m. - Elspeth spills her cup of water all over her chair, the desk clerk doesn't seem to notice, I swap out Ella's chair for an empty one by the front desk.

5:55 a.m. - Jeremy, my knight with DVD player, arrives and turns on the entertainment.

6:10 a.m. - Ella realizes there are donuts available for consumption. The sugar fest starts.

6:15 a.m. - The desk clerk notices the wet chair. I try to look innocent.

6:17 a.m. - batteries die on DVD player. Daddy turns to the Internet for additional solutions.

6:30 a.m. - We are exhausted, and Ella is bored. I'm glad the monitor works to the lobby, and am grateful that one member of our family is getting a good night's sleep.

7:00 a.m. - Jeremy and Ell head off to Wal-Mart to waste time. Jeremy doesn't have his phone, so I give him mine.

7:17 a.m. - Bored. Dana is online but inactive. I start sending her IMs to annoy her when she comes near her computer. Get Packed. Get Packed. Get Packed. I know she will be late, but I am hoping for a miracle.

7:20 a.m. - I remember that I didn't pack the flags we got for the girls and their cousins. They will be crushed. Didn't my sister say I could email a text message? I google email text message, and it seems ridiculously easy. Too easy, so I try it. "Forgot flags. Get more."

Just now - amazing husband replies "u betcha" so I know my text is successful. Thinking of crawling back into bed with Addie. This is going to be a long day.

I love vacation. Happy 4th of July.

7 Things

2009-06-29T21:10:00.003-05:00

7 Things I hope I forget:
1 - Never being rested when my kids were young
2 - The squishy feeling you get when your child vomits down your shirt
3 - The smell when your child vomits down your shirt
4 - Arguing 400 points a day, no matter how trivial (I don't know WHY clocks can't eat pizza, but I am still SURE that they can not eat pizza)
5 - The way my shoulders tense when I know a 4 year old is about to say "I want something else." at dinner
6 - My daughter's phase of announcing every house she goes into as "not clean"
7 - How much I miss them (Jeremy and the kids) when they are away

7 Things I hope I never forget:
1 - Elspeth spontaneously praying that God would make me a new fork when I broke my plastic fork at lunch yesterday.
2 - The way Addie's arms feel when she wraps them around my legs for a quick hug
3 - Silly car games the kids make up, like "over the train track", "under the car bridge", "what do you want to say to the clock", and my FAVORITE, "Things that scare Mommy"
4 - Elspeth announcing that she grew a hug for me over her nap, and that it is bigger than I am
5 - The way they feel in your arms
6 - The unnatural happiness when I hear Addie say "Hi Mommy, I love you" over the phone
7 - How excited they get to learn new things, like why a skunk "stinks you" or about "rattletail" snakes.

The Joys of House Hunting(Warning Blatant Venting)

2009-06-22T11:15:00.000-05:00

Actual Listing Description:

Geourgous 4bd 2Ba Home single level, spilt floor plan master suite has large master bathrooms with double sinks and french doors that leads to the back patio/yard All New Dual pain Windows all thougout the home, all appliances stays including new washer and dryer large barkyard also a small doggie door

The dog is excited about a "barkyard" but I think it sounds noisy. Although I am not sure we would ever open the windows, if it is really a "pain." And what is a "georgous" home? Is that good, cause it kind of sounds like it involves someone named George, and I don't know if we like George. Maybe George is responsible for the "spilt" floor plan, my girls would be happy to take over that responsibility.

I know that spelling is not my strength either. I am sure I will never get desert vs. dessert correct which will be embarrassing more than once while living in the desert(for the record, I got this one right, but I did have to go to the dictionary to double check my facts). However, I think if your livelihood is involved, spell checker might be merited.

I actually asked one realtor to check her facts twice when she told me that a house didn't include a washer/dryer. She sounded a bit angry that I thought it should, and helpfully pointed out that I would have to pay a lot more if I wanted a washer/dryer included. After the second try at information failed, I suggested that maybe her listing was the cause of my confusion, and putting in false information (i.e. saying that it included a washer/dyer) didn't lead to any confidence that the rest of the listing was true. It was then that she ACTUALLY decided to check her facts, and recanted (not politely) that it did have washer/dyer.

That ship has sailed. I only replied the last time to "helpfully" point out to you that your own listing was causing my confusion. Maybe you should have looked at that the first time before you suggested I was stupid for thinking I could get a washer out of you (OK, that was a shameless venting, but it felt good).

Since I am so helpful, I actually thanked a realtor for her colorful listings. I was serious. I have sorted through hundreds at this point, and I am tired of step saver kitchens (which I am fairly certain is realtor for "really small"), must see properties, and this one won't last (even though it has been on the market for months already).

I have had several people comment that I have been kind of quiet online these days. This is why. All my online time is in search of the perfect home. I don't know why I am stressing, Ella looked at pictures of one house and decided that is where we should live. She doesn't care. She just wants a place to call home that involves cacti.

Oh yeah. She thought our last house was paradise. Maybe I am over-thinking this.

Have I mentioned that I hate moving?

site seeing

2009-05-29T09:41:00.002-05:00

Wish You Were Here

2009-05-28T19:39:00.003-05:00

Dear Elspeth and Adwen:

We miss you while we are in Tucson, but are working hard to find a great house for you to play in!

This is the backyard view from one house we looked at yesterday:

Mommy snapped a picture of the Santa Catalina Mountains while we were driving. There are three mountain ranges surrounding our new home:

Our favorite house has this for a neighbor:

And this for a backyard(notice there is no grass, only rock that you two can use your bull dozers in!):

Grandpa Dactu will be very happy to learn we have an operating Weinerschnitzel down here! He was so disappointed when the Champaign area one closed before he had a chance to try it (they only gave him 6 years):

Mommy and Daddy love you. Have fun with Grandma and Grandpa, don't get too spoiled.

Love, Mommy and Daddy

Saying Goodbye

2009-05-20T09:32:00.006-05:00

All our stuff boxed up, and lined up, waiting for the movers to come in the morning. We are saying goodbye to our stuff for several months while we bounce around, depending on the goodwill of family and friends.

Ella enjoys playing on piles of bedding in our room, our final morning.

Addie wakes for the final morning in her crib, in her room.

The last picture of our home, the only thing I will truly miss. I will always remember the trips Kev and Michele made to help us prepare for our first born. The love evident in each detail they put into her room.

Saying goodbye to the house was easy (the hardest part is giving up the autonomy that comes with your own home). Saying goodbye to these women was considerably harder. Elspeth still accidentally calls us by their names in her unguarded moments. She loves them without reserve, and so do we. This was the point I started crying without ability to stop.

We found Addie in her favorite spot. The ironic part is that Adwen will not sit in my lap for story time anymore, preferring a "group spot" to my lap. So finding that at group time, she actually will climb into the teacher's lap made me laugh. Then it made me cry. I am a sentimental sap.

I am at work this week, missing my family, and my house, and the school that my kids love so much. This week is the hardest. Next week, we go to Arizona for the first time, after seeing our new home, I will be excited, but this week I just feel the goodbyes mounting.

Final Hours

2009-05-13T14:14:00.002-05:00

As I looked (desperately) for my travel mug this morning, I yelled "where is my mug?"

Ella didn't hesitate, she responded "You packed it."

This is not true, of course. I would never pack my travel mug, because I will always need to be able to carry coffee, but it reflects the atmosphere in our home.

The walk-through is today.

The buyers are bringing a partner from the brokerage representing them, a home inspector, and an attorney to the final walk-through.

Yes, there is an office pool as to how much $$ they will ask for in concessions. They may just be nervous, but I call a home inspector and an attorney self-fulfilling prophecies. Don't worry, the office pool is not illegal gambling, we play for pizza and bragging rights around here.

I officially came into my own as a Henn, when I crawled into the cardboard container at the recycling center to retreive a "good box." I didn't need this box (I gave it to a friend), but it was good, and I hated to see it wasted. I have never felt closer to my father-in-law, I am sure he will be proud of me. Slightly surprised, my husband asked me if I had both deposited and withdrew from the recycling container. He has never seen this side of me before.

We celebrated this morning when our trash company took away ALL the trash we piled at the curb this morning.

We are grateful for the neighbors who let us use their excess trash space.

The movers come tomorrow morning, whether I finish packing or not.

Finishing is highly unlikely.

Thus begins the Henn Family Road Trip edition.

Chick Bits

2009-05-12T10:01:00.002-05:00

I moved too slow yesterday getting watermelon for Elspeth's breakfast. My elder child proclaimed "How bout we feed kids around here!"

My mother took my girls to the library and selected some special books to read to them. My younger child has been carrying those books around for two days saying "Grandma?"

Elspeth has gotten interested in nature. But she has already tapped out my knowledge. We got a book about trees, and it talks about photosynthesis, prompting a discussion about how sunshine is food for trees. Last night, I said something about getting done before sun down. Ella proclaimed, "Mommy, the sun doesn't go down! The trees eat it." Since we had our tree discussion, my daughter thought the trees ate the sun every evening, and a new one came up the next day.

Addie had a pair of brown shoes. She loved these shoes. In an attempt to "summerize" her wardrobe, she got a pair of hot pink sandals. She will not wear them, and has even started crying if I even pick them up. I suggested to my Mother that she pick up a pair of easy to put on sandals. Addie opened them and refused to put them on. She wants her brown shoes. In a flash of inspiration, my mother took Addie out and purchased her a new pair of brown shoes. They look almost like the old ones, just newer, one size larger, and the Velcro still holds. Addie will not look at her old brown shoes. She will not contemplate those lovely pink sandals I still dig out each morning in the hopes that today is the day.

At school, they immediately noticed she finally had on new shoes, and they noticed that they looked almost exactly like her old ones. By the end of the day they were scuffed beyond recognition as new. We figure that about makes them perfect in her book.

My old sneakers are friends of mine.

You can't trust any shoes that shine.

Some shoes pinch you and some shoes squeak.

The only shoes that I would choose are shoes that sneak.

- Sandra Boyton

Let us pack Mommy!

2009-05-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

Old Gold

2009-05-07T15:22:00.002-05:00

When Jeremy first proposed, I don't think my feet touched ground for days. It wasn't a surprise, but, boy was it the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. I loved the ring he selected without reservation. Especially when he described his agony in picking out a diamond, a setting, wondering if it was all correct. That was 13 years ago, and I love that ring still, I think even more.

The day our first child was born, I was a total and typical new mom, worried about everything. I wondered if I would scratch our precious child, and Jeremy agreed, so I took the ring off, handed it to my husband and did not put it back on until this week.

As I was packing, I came across it, and I did not like the idea of my engagement ring residing in a storage locker, and my kids are old enough, well, I am over scratching them. So my ring went back on, causing me to contemplate on my old gold rings.

Back when we married, it was all the rage to get platinum rings. One excited bride explained to me that the ring would last forever, like her love. That's nice. I think it is a lovely symbol of eternal love, but it isn't for us. Jeremy and I are, well we are more "gritty."

We have gold bands. Old fashioned yellow gold bands. Gold is hard by human standards, but soft by metal standards. Like our marriage, it changes, but slowly. I am not sure what year the brushed gold finish became more scratched gold finish, but it happened. Probably the year I stopped seeing the moon in Jeremy's eyes, but appreciated more his steady hand in mine. There are dings on my wedding band that I have named for each of our moves. Our rings are decidedly unique after a dozen years.

Which is why I sat in tears yesterday when I got home from a shopping trip with Elspeth and discovered my engagement ring had fallen off. I knew I had it at the check-out counter, it fell off there, and stooped to pick up thinking I must be more careful. I wasn't.

While Jeremy bathed our daughter, I collected a flashlight and headed back to Target in search of my ring. The sweet girl at customer service said she wished I had put it in my pocket when it fell off. "Not as much as I do," I thought.

I retraced my steps, slowly. I got on my knees in the parking lot and looked under the car now parked in my previous spot. That is when I attracted attention from other shoppers. People stopped to help look. One guy positioned his car so the headlights would help in the increasing darkness.

No luck.

Finally, we called it quits and I headed home in a fresh round of tears. Now I was sad that I lost my ring, AND that I was leaving a community where everyone will stop to help a complete stranger look for something lost.

Jeremy called to check on me, neither of spoke about the ring, knowing that each of us was telling the other by silence alone that it hadn't been located.

Tired, and upset, I backed the car out of the driveway to park it on the road.

That's when it happened.

My brain saw something flash.

I backed up.

It flashed again.

Leaving the car straddled across the entire road, I slowly got out. And found it. My ring.

Now it has been run over at least twice (pulling forward, and backing up). And it probably has a few more scratches, but who could notice. I figure it is still a good representation of our marriage. As we prepare to sell the home we had babies in. As we prepare for the unknown future in Arizona. As we prepare for all kinds of unknowns together. We have picked up a few more scratches, but we are still here. Shining like old gold.

Big Girl Alert

2009-05-06T15:30:00.003-05:00

Addie Kate

Cute as a button.

Likes: Playing "duck swim" in the sink with her sister

Skills: Finding sharp objects

Recent Activities: Went Potty IN the potty yesterday!!

For references, see the Little Lions Teachers who are as proud as Mommy and Daddy.

Alice in Wonderland

2009-04-28T15:56:00.002-05:00

I can not post this without giving away something very important about myself. I am a dork. Ok, you probably already know that. I believe I am the last known person in the free world who is not on face book.

Unfortunately, I am also in marketing, and the "old school" marketing I practice needs a facelift. So, tasked with getting my organization into the 21st Century, I put myself on Facebook today for the first time.

I have to confess, I am not up for this task. They make it so easy to get an account, you just reveal a few pieces of information. And then suddenly you are hit with a barrage of information about all the people you know. Ok, technically, I only have 14 friends, but that means I am completely overwhelmed by info from just 14 (and I realize that many many people have 'friends' numbering in the thousands). How do you keep up?

First things first, I asked my boss. She explained that the barrage was a news feed, and that what I had to concern myself with was the wall. Wall, ok, I can find a wall. Unfortunately, people can change my wall. I got a note from Celina, hurray, I found it. I actually think I successfully posted back to her wall. So far so good.

Then I got too ambitious. I wanted to upload a picture. While I was doing that, this little red number in the corner of my screen kept going up. Curious, I hovered my mouse over the number, up popped a list of notifications, all demanding my attention. I don't know how to attend to these things. Seriously, I am out of my element. This is bad, I am just clicking things now.

So, if you see me on Facebook, feel free to drop a note. Or not. Chances are, I am pretty far away from actually being able to reliably do anything about it. Do you know there are people who actually hold down full time jobs AND are on facebook? That is my hero list.

ChickBits

2009-04-23T15:30:00.002-05:00

As we were driving home the other day:

Elspeth: Mommy, can we make bad people good?

Me: We can try, Honey.

Elspeth: Mommy, whose job is it to make bad people good?

Me: Hmmmm (vaguely, wondering if the car in front of me was going to turn left, and if I should switch lanes and only half paying attention to Ella).

Elspeth: (firmly)Jesus

Me: What?

Elspeth: It is Jesus' job to make bad people good. God's too.

Me: Well, yes Honey I think you are right.

Elspeth: (as an afterthought) Although I don't think he is doing his job because he is in our walls

Nina the Wonder Dog

2009-04-21T09:45:00.004-05:00

It has taken me nearly a week to be able to post about Nina.

It is a very hard thing, to choose to end another living beings life. I think it is harder with a dog like Nina, who never did anything but love our family.

Before we had kids, she was my great protector. More than one strange man backed away slowly when Nina let him know that he was not welcome within leash range. I will never forget the Jehovah's witnesses who tried to concentrate on our conversation, but could only nervously stare at my chocolate dog, who was barely listening to my command of "down." Noticeably they watched her entire body twitch with anticipation of the second I freed them. She seemed to be calculating the distance to their jugulars.

When I was pregnant and cold, she spent countless hours cuddled with me on the couch. When I brought home my first born, she considered Elspeth her first born too. Howling at me whenever the baby cried, at one point standing over Elspeth in the bathroom doorway and barking at me to take care of this child. NOW!

She patiently let all children manhandle her ears, her tail, her nose. Letting the fascination all children have with dogs, work itself out as she endured countless pokes and tugs. More than one parent misinterpreted my anxiety when their child was around Nina as fear for their child. Really, I feared for Nina around children because she would never defend herself, she would not even get up and leave the room as our older, crankier dog will do.

In the end, I know the truth. That Nina would have laid her life down for mine. That she is the dog that would jump in front of a bullet, tackle a robber, deal with evil if it crossed the path of our family. Some dogs bark a lot, but Nina quietly stalked you. She sent a shiver up any unwanted visitor's spine, being simultaneously complete patience with us and absolutely a predator to outsiders.

She has been very sick for a very long time. We have known that the disease she had would eventually claim her life. We knew this, but making the call was more difficult that I expected. When do you know it is time.

In typical Nina fashion, she even made the call for us, giving up in the end so that it would be easier on us to say goodbye. Her final night, as we realized what we must do, we took turns sitting vigil by our amazing chocolate wonder dog.

It will be a long time before Jeremy and I won't miss the constant activity. Even with two children under 5, it feels calmer at our house without Nina. I wonder if the neighbors have noticed she is gone. She spent hour after hour stalking their house, staring at them with unblinking eyes in a menacing way. Just so she could howl the minute he stepped outside to smoke a cigarette, our own self-appointed anti-smoking coalition.

How do you say goodbye to such a dog?

One quieter day at a time.

Nina "Dingo Dog" August, 2000 - April, 2009

Easter Surprise!

2009-04-15T13:53:00.002-05:00

Instead of eggs, we found family on our doorstep arriving home from church Easter morning. We got to spend some precious time with our niece and nephews, and watch our children bond with other Henn chicks too.

Where will we live?

2009-04-14T10:14:00.001-05:00

Many weeks ago Elspeth insisted that we would live in our house, just in Arizona. When we told her someone else would live in our house, she got troubled.

"Where will we live?"

"In a different house, in Arizona, with all our stuff, especially your toys."

"Is someone building a house for us in California?"(our child is convinced we are going to California, not Arizona)

"I hope so Honey."

Elspeth thought for a moment.

"Jesus is building a house for us in California. So he can live in the walls there." 4-year-old logic, if we can't see him, but he is in our house, he must be in the walls.

John 14:1-3 (NIV)
John 14
1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God;trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Spring Parties!!!

2009-04-09T14:55:00.003-05:00

Pretty Women

2009-04-06T09:14:00.003-05:00

What else should they do with Mommy's birthday card?

Two adults, two children, two dogs Free to Good Home

2009-04-01T11:05:00.002-05:00

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it. --Rabindranath Tagore

I laugh when my house annoys me. Soon it will be someone else' problem. Now we move on to phase 2, subletting a place for the summer . . .

Life is an adventure after all.

Grandma's Weekend

2009-03-30T08:35:00.003-05:00

Jeremy's parents have spent the last 3 weekends with our kids. I bet they are tired. My mother came to visit (planned before we knew we were going to move).

5 minutes before she arrived. We got our second offer on the house. So Grandma spent the weekend discreetly not listening while we discussed counter offers and making our kids feel loved while we were distracted by other things.

So here is what I know based on Jeremy's parents and mine. We can raise them, we can send them out into the world. But we will always be responsible for these beautiful girls.

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me???

2009-03-29T21:25:00.003-05:00

After some tense negotiations, we are agreed on an offer. The contract won't be signed until tomorrow, and everyone knows their inspection could throw the whole thing off, but as of right now we are off the market.

I am glad I don't have to show the house tomorrow.

I am glad my mother arrived 5 minutes after the offer so she could pay attention to our children while we debated the finer points of whether or not to replace the range hood for the buyer.

Now we wait for inspection. and the contract our attorney has to create because we have gotten complex on this deal . . .

In and Out of Love

2009-03-28T08:29:00.002-05:00

We got our first offer last night. It was a good offer, and after a little negotiation we all agreed on a deal.

We went to bed with our house sold.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, the buyer got cold feet.

I guess that's show biz.

Ranting

2009-03-27T12:58:00.002-05:00

1 Peter 5:6-7
6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Since discovering we will be leaving the midwest there have been a variety of reactions. We are grateful for our friends and family who have rallied to help us through a difficult time getting the house on the market. Now that we are listed (2 showings booked today, 1 this weekend), I am calming down and reflecting on the past month.

I am truly grateful for the friends who still take my calls after the last month. I was not always a bright and sunny spot in their lives. I am also seeing how easily some people let us go. There are friends who already look past me, like I have moved. I won't lie, that hurts. People I thought I had a genuine connection with, but for some personal reason, have already separated from me. I must choose to see how their contrast with the people who have held us closer as we prepare to go. This makes some friends more cherished. The ones who send me scripture to keep me going, give us a room for our "stuff", show up with a truck, or willing spirit to help us tackle another house project, or the women who just sat in a room with me last night and let me be afraid a little bit about the future, without trying to make me go back to sunshine and roses (Ok, the chocolate they provided helped too).

I am grateful for those who will make moving harder. Those are the people I will take with me to Tucson.

Showin Showin Showin

2009-03-26T13:28:00.002-05:00

At 6pm yesterday evening, our realtor finally stuck the for sale sign in our yard. Just after he casually informed me that I needed to paint my garage door. He was right. Many of the shingles thrown over by the roofers skimmed the door on their way to the dumpster and you can't help but notice big black marks as you pull up. Everyone KNOWS that curb appeal is essential when selling a house, right?

So, when I got the call that someone was walking through our house at 3:30 today (less than 24 hours after the sign went up and before the listing made it to MLS), I took a long lunch to rush home and start painting the garage. Instead of the fun lunch with friends we had planned, we sanded, and primed the door. It no longer has black marks visible, but when you get close it obviously needs another coat of paint. Unfortunately, oil based sealer/primer needs longer than latex between coats, so it will have to do.

What is the point of this post? you might be asking, and that would be fair.

Just one month ago, this would have been a major project. It would have caused angst and much research and at least 10 days before we would have mobilized into action. Now it is something we can squeeze in a couple lunch hours. I call that progress.

Now it is something we can do together, and not even argue. If you know me, you know I tend to work better alone that with a partner. I call that progress too.

I am proud of what we have accomplished on our house and in our marriage in this process. We may have spent our 12th anniversary eating left overs and working on getting our house ready. But we enjoyed working together, and that is worth everything.

The fact that someone is walking through our home less than 24 hours after the sign went up doesn't hurt my mood either. I realize they won't buy, but I am a numbers girl. Every walk through increases the statistical likelihood that an offer is coming, right? I wonder if Jeremy can do a model that will tell me the probability of walk throughs I must have before I sell . . . .

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

And We're Back . . .

2009-03-24T09:34:00.002-05:00

Elspeth crawled up on a chair with her sister this weekend and asked for their picture to be taken. As we are rushing chaotically to get our house on the market, it has been a joy to see our girls bond more and more with each other.

Other things to be grateful for:

- Prayers of our friends and family

- The unknown person who snuck up and fixed the siding on our house (who ever you are, thanks)

- Jeremy's parents for making the drive two weekends in a row and sticking to their chore lists

- John for coming over and updating a couple outlets

- Erik for coming over, hauling away furniture with his truck and fixing the switch in the master bedroom

- Celina for showing me how to sell things on Craig's list and for doing some research on how to prepare small children for a move

- Rob and Robin for saving us the cost of a storage garage by lending us a room in their basement for the next 18 months

- Kevin and Sylvia for offering us a safe haven when we need to leave our home (assuming someone will come and look at it in the next few months)

- Our realtor for helping us save significant money on our roof

Ok, there are a ton of other people that I am grateful for, like Jamie for giving me a primer on how to be a working professional, then suddenly a professional mom. all of these people are a blessing in our lives, and I am overwhelmed by the generosity of spirit that has sustained us during a difficult time.

The house goes on the market tomorrow. I have done what I can, I no longer have control. If you know me at all, you know how much that terrifies me. Prayers would be good.

Good News Edition

2009-03-12T11:19:00.003-05:00

I am not a lot of fun to be around these days. We are struggling, and are grateful for all the support from friends and family as we address one issue after another. I find myself crying, first at something bad that comes up, then because someone nice has helped me through it and that person is part of a community I am leaving. I need good news. You live in this economy too. You need good news. So here is some highlights of stories that have been brought to my attention by various people who have given me a pep talk when my pep has gone away.

A man has survived going over Niagra Falls. If you have ever seen Niagra Falls, you know that is pretty cool.

A man in Michigan has started a donating chain for kidneys. By agreeing to donate to a stranger, he has started a domino effect that has 10 completed transplants behind it and potential to go to 28. One altruistic effort that has saved 28 lives. That is good news.

A pharmacist in Alabama gave each of his employees $16,000 bonuses in his own heroic attempt to stimulate their local economy. I would love to see how that chain worked, he gave it to them in $2 bills so it would be noticed as they were released.

An Indiana town that has been hit hard by the economic decline got a little help in feeding over 5,000 people. Hmmmm, who can't see the miracle in feeding 5,000?

A 7-year-old girl wants everyone to know there is always hope. 3 months ago, she was told her cancer was in-operable. Today she is cancer-free.

Reality Check

2009-03-04T14:48:00.002-06:00

If you leave two 4 year olds alone with a light bright, you will be picking up light bright pegs for weeks.

If you are moving to Tucson with dogs, not only do you have to check if rentals allow dogs, you have to check to see if you are old enough to live in the potential community (rule of thumb, if you are getting excited, you probably have to be at least 50 to live there).

If you are trying to pack up your house, your children will help you. They will pack stuff for you. If you are called away while you are packing, you should inspect any boxes for cups of milk or favorite lovies, or baby sister's favorite toys (I suspect she would put baby sister in there if she could) before you continue loading the box with your possessions.

Moving is not fun. Selling your house is not fun. The addition of children multiplies this effect. The addition of dogs makes the multiplier exponential.

Random Acts of Cute

2009-03-03T07:46:00.003-06:00

Cacti and Sunshine

2009-02-24T08:48:00.002-06:00

The average high in December is 66 (low is 42). Hmmm. I can deal.

We get to see real cacti (my boss spent a lot of time trying to help me learn the proper pronounciation of Saguaro).

I may find a latent ability to tan (OK, this is a stretch, but I will try).

Elspeth is excited about staying home with Mommy (and so is mommy).

For someone who struggles with depression, moving to the sunniest city in the Continental U.S. (I am not sure that is a fact, but I am sure it is close) is not a bad thing.

Little girls in summer dresses 9 months of the year.

All these are good things. Last night Addie started coughing and couldn't stop. We finally went in with medicine. After we coaxed her to take it, she rested her head on my shoulder and relaxed. I held her and was surprised by how HEAVY she is. I spent hours holding Ella like that, but Addie's life is slipping by and I am not savoring the days. For at least one year, I will spend my days with her sunshine smile. For at least one year, I will help Elspeth continue to develop into the amazing young lady she is becoming.

I am not sure how domestic I will be, I ruined 5 lbs. of roast yesterday (in my defense I was slightly distracted in my preparations by the sudden epiphany that I was moving over a thousand miles away and I ONLY forgot the water, which was apparently important).

But no one seemed to mind pot roast veggies and pizza for dinner, and the company was still good. So I guess I will laugh and move on when my lack of domesticity rears its head.

This Day is not Real

2009-02-23T14:47:00.002-06:00

I have had to look at people I love today and say over and over "We are leaving."

I realized we are taking Ella away from her best friend.

I just got done re-writing my job description with my boss so the search committee can be convened.

I have to say goodbye in a very real timeframe.

I had babies here.

I grew here.

I watched my husband grow.

I keep stopping to cry at my desk.

I am excited. But goodbye is not easy. Most likely, we will not come back this way again.

This day is not real.

Adventure-Bound

2009-02-23T08:17:00.002-06:00

Tucson. Tucson. Tucson.

In too much shock to comment more.

Going or staying?

2009-02-20T07:43:00.002-06:00

Congratulations! You have been matched to an internship position.

That's the email I (Jeremy) received a few minutes ago. So our family knows that we'll either (a) move someplace much warmer late this summer or (b) stay put in Central Illinois.

I know which option I prefer but it's not exactly my choice at this point. On Monday morning, we find out which path has been set before us. The challenge now is to not worry about might be, but to remember that God is good whether or not things work out like I want.

Happy Birthday Elspeth

2009-02-19T15:22:00.007-06:00

43 friends and family converged to celbrate the 4ness of Ella, a process she hopes to recreate daily.

Vacation Highlights (it has to be done)

2009-02-13T09:19:00.002-06:00

Take Grandma for a walk on the beach.

If you wake up and it's chilly outside, Elspeth insists on a rousing game of "Sink or Float" (Thank you Celina for introducing that gem to our world, and thank you Grandma for not objecting when you found your large pot full of water and toys as you awoke.)

If it's still chilly, you get to open your Valentine's Day gift from Grandma and Grandpa early because Mommy knows there is a long sleeved shirt in there and Mommy didn't pack you enough long sleeved shirts for the trip.

Going to the amusement park and driving a truck all by yourself (no adults allowed).

And Mommy's personal favorite. Grandpa fitting all 6 feet 3 inches in a space designed for 4 feet so that you can fly an airplane together.

Status: Doctoral Candidate

2009-02-12T16:16:00.000-06:00

Verdict overall pleasant. Challenging questions. He enjoyed it.

He passed!

My Husband Proposes Today

2009-02-12T09:11:00.004-06:00

Next month we will celebrate our 12th anniversary. A clean dozen, well it hasn't really been clean. It has been up and down and sometimes downright messy. I can laugh now about mopping up vomit when we first discovered Ella gets carsick, but it wasn't funny at the time.

Over half our marriage has been centered where we live now, something I find hard to believe. We have connected with our community, our church, our friends. We had babies here. I saw the man I loved, because he was so much fun to play with, become the man I love because he isn't faking it when he is pleased to get a welcome home gift from his girls that some would see as a box full of scribbled on paper. I would guess he still has those drawings somewhere.

We have changed. Mostly we like who we are now better than our younger versions.

And now we finally culminate in a day that I have waited for longer than I have truly understand.

Today my husband proposes.

Not to me.

To a committee of four academics who will decide if his research is valuable or worthy to pursue. Who will decide if his study is structured in a way that it will actually capture the data he seeks to find. People who have a lot of power over our lives.

I am in awe of the event that takes place today at 2:00, but not worried. He is ready.

Chick Bits

2009-02-09T09:24:00.003-06:00

Ella turns 4 this week. We are getting ready for the big day.

I have let her help me with the party preparations this year which leads to the following:

"Can we look at the ice cream again? Just look, I will leave it in the freezer, otherwise it will melt."

"Can I look at the goodie bags, I won't open them. My friends are going to be so proud of me."

I think she is excited.

Winter Camp

2009-01-31T10:48:00.004-06:00

Wish you were here!

What's it spell?

2009-01-21T12:40:00.002-06:00

Sylvia - asking the kids would be considered cheating . . . . :)

Daddy's Coming Home

2009-01-10T08:23:00.005-06:00

After 3 days, Daddy is returning from Austin today.

We have missed him.

I read Elspeth's Tractor and Truck book wrong, I tried, but she finally said it would wait until Daddy got home.

I tried to put our Christmas tree away, but I think he must find some weird time space continuum each year, because there is no way that thing fits in the box.

I have tried to keep up the house, which means we actually have piles of clean laundry in some places, and dirty laundry in other places, and I don't want to talk about the state of our dishes.

The world knew the minute he left town and ants invaded the main bathroom. Seriously, who gets ants in January in the Midwest? People who let their husband's travel, that's who.

I proudly tried to deal with our recycling (when it got really cold we just kept adding to the garage and stopped delivering to the central drop off point and it was getting scary out there), and the garage door is now sitting at an odd angle, closed on one side, 5 inches open on the other. Jeremy started talking about lethal springs over the phone and I decided to leave it.

I keep forgetting to tell him important things on the phone. By the time I can talk to him with no kids around, I am too tired to remember, well, anything.

Elspeth has decided to never potty again.

Adwen has decided to climb up on our new bench and dive off, because, so far, I have caught her and that is fun.

If you know a single mom, hug her.

Editor's Note: As I hit post, Elspeth came out to tell me the toilet paper was stuck in the toilet. Which is good, because she is off her potty strike, but bad because she kept trying to flush and the bowl overflowed a little. While "fixing" that mess, Addie decided to feed the dogs. I won't go into details. I checked Jeremy's flight, it got in the air 5 minutes early. I think I might cry I am so happy.

Double Editor's note: So far this morning, Addie has eaten 1 orange marker. As Elspeth and I were brushing Ella's teeth to head out on an errand, Addie ran by the bathroom. I didn't think much of until Ella yelled "Hey Addie's playing with scissors, lets get her!" That's great, the little one is running with scissors and the big one is chasing her. Yeah, I am in control. I am in control, I am in control, I am in control.

18 Months Today

2009-01-08T15:49:00.000-06:00

And still my girl.

what will change Everything?

2009-01-06T13:06:00.003-06:00

I saw an article recently that has me thinking. What is the next big thing?

Personally I am pulling for an honest governor in Illinois, but I am pretty sure that is not going to happen any time soon.

I remember our first computers as a child. Large cumbersome things that were NOT portable. The one I took to college had a 30 megabyte hard drive. You read that right.

No one had a cell phone.

When I first started running, no one had music. Now we can't imagine running without a pair of headphones plugged in.

I remember when Atari was cool. Now my PS2 is hopelessly outdated.

I remember when it was OK to ignore your impact on the environment, and I feel vaguely guilty about all the Aquanet I used, releasing ozone killing chemicals into the air. If only ignorance could save the environment.

What is the next big thing. What will CHANGE everything.

Gone Rogue

2009-01-05T10:44:00.002-06:00

A few days ago I found Elspeth playing with a storage unit. When I asked what she was doing she answered, "this hand (indicating her left) is hiding stuff from this hand (indicating her right)."

I suggested to her wayward left hand that it should share.

Two days ago, Elspeth informed me that "My left hand isn't letting me eat."

Naturally I gave her left hand a stern talking to, but again yesterday this rogue hand wasn't letting her have breakfast.

What do you do when your hand has gone rogue?

In Training

2009-01-03T10:35:00.004-06:00

April 11th is closer than you think. Closer than the day we find out if Jeremy has an internship (Feb 20th), closer than the day that we find out where the internship is (February 23rd). April 11th is VERY close.

After surgery, I was hesitant to get back into training, so I am just seriously starting my half marathon preparation. I know it is feasible, but we have never been in real training with kids.

It is not just a matter of getting in the time anymore, it is a matter of booking it with my spouse, and managing it so we don't short our family time, too much.

I am a lot older than the last time I tried this.

I am a lot more tired than the last time I tried this.

But this time, I want it more. And that is all the difference.

We are going to need a lot more Motrin.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T06:31:00.002-06:00

After spending a day decorating the "Christmas Tent" . . .

We celebrated Christmas Eve in an actual barn. At the end of message, Elspeth leaned into me and asked when we would get to see baby Jesus. Jeremy had reminded her that this was Christmas Eve, and Jesus wasn't born until Christmas Day. She asked if we could come back tomorrow.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours.

J Watch Final Interview Update

2008-12-16T12:22:00.003-06:00

The final scoop is in. Jeremy will be interviewing in Danville, Tucson, and Austin. So, we will be either where we are today, or somewhere decently warm.

As I watch the snow swirling outside my window, I wonder which I would choose. Luckily for us, we have no choice. Yes, you read that right, we do not have a choice.

Now that Jeremy has landed the interviews, the process goes into a black box and we do not get to choose. On some magic Friday in February, we will find out IF he has an internship (not a guarantee despite being on a facility's list). The next Monday we will find out if we have to move next year. I still think staying put is the most likely option.

This exhausts my knowledge on the subject, further details will have to be wrentched from my husband.

J-Watch

2008-12-15T11:40:00.005-06:00

Oh no, she led in with a picture of both girls, must be bad news . . . .

Sorry Mom and Dad, we will not be moving to Tampa next year.

Today is the deadline for Buffalo, Austin but they have alluded that the notification may not actually get sent today (high volumes of applications this year).

My sister, Karin shared this earlier and it has put me at peace with the whole process:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.-Jeremiah 29:11-12

What ever happens now is for the best!

J-Watch Update

2008-12-12T10:45:00.003-06:00

San Antonio is Out.

Tucson interview scheduled for January 6th, all prayers appreciated.

Lest you think we despair over losing another, I thought I would share a little photo I like to call "dropped coffee grounds on my toes"

Happy Friday everyone.

J Watch 2008

2008-12-10T11:10:00.003-06:00

not good news today. Cincy recorded his application a day after it was received, or past the deadline, so they won't even review it. Jeremy has supplied them with the tracking number so they can see when it was received, but their interview slots are gone at this point.

New Mexico is out too.

Hello Number 2!

2008-12-10T10:18:00.004-06:00

Nothing like a girl and her hat. Hands-free lovie in action!

Interview Count

2008-12-05T13:06:00.002-06:00

Danville has moved Jeremy into the finalists and has invited him for an interview!

Cincy is still out but we should hear any minute.

It Starts

2008-12-04T14:07:00.001-06:00

Many of you have been through our ups and downs of Jeremy's academic career so here is our status report for internship:

applications out: 9
Still active: 8
Interview requests: 1 (Tucson)

He should hear from Danville and Cincinnati by the end of day tomorrow.

Keep prayin!

If everyone would kindly act their age.

2008-12-01T10:23:00.003-06:00

I keep wondering when my parents will "act their age"

After running me around the gym for 3 hours. My mother let me pause for lunch before we dug into the "projects" for the day. To be honest, my job was opinion only (she still lets me have a vote in Elspeth's new curtains), mother was doing all the work.

At the end of the day, I dropped her at the house while I went to collect my youngest child from daycare. I came home exhausted, my mom had made two pies in the approximately half hour I was away.

Collapsing in a tired heap, I asked "when will you act your age." Mother calmly replied "60 is the new 50" while she prepared my sewing machine for an evening's work.

Why does 34 feel like the new 90. I thought my kids made me feel tired.

Still, every time I see the soft purple glow of the sunlight filtering through Ella's new curtains (that she thanked God for last night in prayers), and my younger child has warm fingers and toes coming out from under her cozy new blanky, it is hard to feel anything but gratitude.

Maybe I can convince my parents to make this a Thanksgiving tradition . . .

The Blues

2008-11-13T12:02:00.001-06:00

Chick Bits

2008-11-10T15:20:00.001-06:00

I'm practicing chewing with my mouth closed right now!

- Elspeth Paige

I'm not sure its possible to chew with your mouth closed AND yell down the hall at the same time.

Halloween 2008 - the video

2008-11-09T17:55:00.002-06:00

Stray Cats Found

2008-11-06T10:02:00.003-06:00

Free to good home??!?

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T06:50:00.000-05:00

Baby got Bling

2008-10-27T14:59:00.003-05:00

Addie Kate figured out how to put on necklaces all by herself yesterday. She has been generally decorated since the magical moment that the overhead motion clicked for her . . .

Dimensions

2008-10-27T14:49:00.003-05:00

Cowgirl by day

Daddy's girl that night

Discovery

2008-10-20T16:07:00.003-05:00

Addie is in love with Keely Mae. This is good. And this is bad. Addie wants to touch Keely. Keely's hair, Keely's face, Keely's eyeballs. Michele is an indulgent aunt, letting Addie have access, but keeping a close eye and, of course, the constant click of the camera shutter as the two girls discovered each other.

I win!

2008-10-20T15:48:00.004-05:00

As our pregnant, and not feeling well, friend Bethe graciously posed for this picture. Michele and I popped our flashes and challenged each other to a posting race.

Bethe is still quite beautiful, even if she doesn't feel it all the time these days. And I have now won the weirdest race I have ever entered.

In your face Michele.

Grandpa Dactu's Girls

2008-10-20T15:05:00.000-05:00

I drove 8 hours

2008-10-20T14:46:00.002-05:00

Just to take this picture. I meant to attend a party, but my girls lasted 20 minutes before meltdown commenced.

I hear it was a great party.

What 700 Billion Dollars Won't Buy

2008-10-07T16:53:00.004-05:00

It won't buy the feeling you get when you hold your first born in the hospital. Or, when you meet your beautiful niece for the first time.

It won't buy the feeling you get when your younger child finally sleeps on the way to meet your newest niece.
It won't buy two goofy girls making room for each other on Kiki's piano bench.
It won't buy the realization that spaghetti is not vile poison.
It won't buy the feeling that your friend Emma is coming to play with you at your favorite place.
It won't buy the moment you realize your tom-boy is still a girl. Or the look on her face when she gets to try on her princess dress for the first time.

It won't buy clean lovies (apparently you need a dishwasher for that).
It CAN NOT buy the feeling that comes with watching Michigan lose. To a team you know they didn't fear. On homecoming (GO ILLINI).
It doesn't make you feel the warm glow of trying something for the first time, and being pretty good at it.
Or the feeling of your younger child sleeping on the way home from meeting your newest niece.

And, apparently economic security.

HennChicks - Road Trip Edition

My Cookie

truth

Cousins - Day 1

Crazy Eyes

Prepare to Defend Yourself

Dangerous Game

Roller Girls

Anatomy of a Henn Family Birthday

Signs of Life

Old Friends

safari

Merry Christmas

Treasure

Shocking

Better Late than Never . . . Halloween!

*Sigh*

The Big Show

The 154

A Good Day

Great Moments in Parenting

Communication

Chick Bits

Our week in review

Elspeth's Desert

Startling but unrelated truths

Week 1

The Score

Don't Cry Because it's Over, Smile Because it Happened.

Road Show

Smear me Mommy!

Shine on

Lame Duck

What are the signs?

Random thoughts on a rainy day

Altered Reality

Not Enough Coffee

7 Things

The Joys of House Hunting(Warning Blatant Venting)

site seeing

Wish You Were Here

Saying Goodbye

Final Hours

Chick Bits

Let us pack Mommy!

Old Gold

Big Girl Alert

Alice in Wonderland

ChickBits

Nina the Wonder Dog

Easter Surprise!

Where will we live?

Spring Parties!!!

Pretty Women

Two adults, two children, two dogs Free to Good Home

Grandma's Weekend

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me???

In and Out of Love

Ranting

Showin Showin Showin

And We're Back . . .

Good News Edition

Reality Check

Random Acts of Cute

Cacti and Sunshine

This Day is not Real

Adventure-Bound

Going or staying?

Happy Birthday Elspeth

Vacation Highlights (it has to be done)

Status: Doctoral Candidate

My Husband Proposes Today

Chick Bits

Winter Camp

What's it spell?

Daddy's Coming Home

18 Months Today

what will change Everything?

Gone Rogue

In Training

Sigh